Drunken Nights
by ElephantRed
Summary: Olivia goes out and gets completely drunk, somehow finding herself outside the door of ADA Rafael Barba. Barson fic.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my second fanfic! I absolutely adore Barson, so I just had to write about them. I have a plan for the next chapter, but I would absolutely love your input! Also, SVU doesn't belong to me, if it did, Olivia and Rafael would be together already! Enjoy! -Ellie**

Rafael Barba was sitting on his couch, drinking scotch and watching the 11 o'clock news. He was distracted listening to the sound of the rain pelting off the windows to his condo. He felt empty inside, something was missing from his life. He wanted a family. Rafael married the job straight out of law school, and hasn't let up since. He still wants to run for DA, so he can't let up now. But he wishes he had a personal life. Someone to hold after a long day, to take out on weekends, to talk about things other than work with. He wanted to be happy.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a knock at his door. He opened it, only to find a soaking wet Olivia Benson nearly falling through his door. He caught her and stood her up straight.

"Sergeant Benson, are you alright?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

She looked at him, eyes glassy, and said "Rafael I can't anymore" and tears welled in her eyes.

Instantly his heart went to the worst place, and he spoke softly and gently, taking the woman's hands, "You can't what, Olivia?"

"It's too much. I can't." She slurred her words. "I can't handle any of it. Rafael my life it's out of control."

"Shh, Liv, it's gonna be okay, come on, let's get you warmed up before you get sick. How does a hot shower sound?" He asked, his heart breaking for the woman in front of him.

"You don't have to take care of me, I don't know why I came over here." She sheepishly said, feeling small and embarrassed.

"I know I don't have to, I want to. Let me take care of you Liv, you deserve it. Now come on, let's get you in that shower, okay?"

"Thank you, Rafael. You're a good man. No matter what anyone says about you. "

He led her to his bathroom, and turned the shower on for her. Luckily, his shower has a built in bench, since he was worried about her falling with how much she had to drink. He left her to go get a pair of his sweatpants and a tshirt for her, as well as warming a towel. He came back to find Olivia fast asleep, sitting on the bench in the shower, her clothes still on. He laughed to himself, thinking "this woman is too much. I just wish she weren't so sad." He took off his shirt so he could reach in the shower to rouse Olivia.

"Liv" he called gently shaking her shoulders. She began drunkenly screaming, sloppily flailing her limbs, trying to fight him off.

He went fully into the shower, dodging her limbs, flipped the shower off and continued to call to Olivia. Finally she opened her eyes, and cried when she saw Rafael in front of her, soaking wet, nose bleeding.

"Rafael did I hit you? What's going on?"

He looked at her and chuckled, but heartbroken for the woman in front of him and said,

"You got in the shower with your clothes on and fell asleep, and I tried to wake you up and you started having a nightmare."

Crying harder, "I'm so sorry, Rafi, I'm so sorry"

"Shh, Liv, it's okay, don't worry, I'm okay, you couldn't help it. Now, seeing that you are thoroughly soaked, let's try this shower thing again, but I'll stay here in the bathroom with you. I brought you clothes and a towel okay?"

"Why are you being so nice to me? I'm sure this isn't what you had planned for tonight. I'm sorry for coming over." She was sobering up a bit.

"Olivia, you're my friend, why wouldn't I take care of you? Now stop being silly and let's get you in the shower okay? I'll step out so you can get undressed. "

"No, stay with me." She asked, her eyes pleading him not to go.

He took her hand, looked her in they eyes, and said "I promise, I'm not going anywhere."

He stood, facing the door, so she could undress in privacy. She was grunting and jumping and was still intoxicated, her now dripping wet clothes glued to her body.

Sighing, she asked, "Rafael, can you help me?"

Still facing the wall, he asked, "Help you with what?"

"I can't get any of my clothes off, they're stuck since I'm soaked."

He turned around and looked at her, confused, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm freezing..."

"Okay, why don't you sit down and I'll see what I can do."

She followed his directions and sat down on his toilet seat. He walked over to her and hesitantly took the hem of her sweater. Slowly, he pulled upwards, peeling the drenched garment from her body. Once he removed the sweater, he instructed her to stand up, so he could attempt to get her already tight jeans off. Looking cautiously at her, as opposed to where his hands were, he popped open the button and unzipped her jeans. He tucked his hands inside her waistband, to attempt to get a grip so he could pull them off. Olivia brought her hands to his wrists, stopping him.

He looked at her, quizzically, "I'm sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?"

She just laughed, leaned forward, and brushed her lips to his. She wrapped her arms around the ADA, and ran her hands up and down his back. Rafael froze. He was completely unsure of how to respond. He thought Olivia was absolutely gorgeous, and feeling her body against his, since she was clad only in a bra and jeans, and he in a pair of sweatpants, it felt so right. But she was drunk, and clearly not in a good mental state. So he grabbed her arms and pushed her off.

"Olivia, what's going on?" He asked, sitting her back down.

"I- I'm sorry, Rafael, I just." She sputtered, tears again forming in her eyes. It broke his heart to see Olivia cry.

"Hey, Liv. It's okay. I'm not mad. I'm flattered, really," he said with a big smile. "I like you, Olivia, and I care deeply about you. And I would be open to a relationship with you." He confessed. "But not like this, hon. You're drunk, and I don't want this to turn into a one night stand, Liv. I can't do that with you."

"You like me? But I'm broken... You deserve so much better, Rafael."

"Now stop being silly, and look at me" he tilted her chin up, and crouched so they were at eye level. "Olivia Benson, you are many things. Broken, is not one of them. You are strong, and beautiful, and brilliant, and funny, and caring and compassionate, you have the kindest heart I've ever seen, and even though you build these huge walls around it, I know it's there. You have been tested, and you did not break, and you are stronger because of it. Do not ever let anyone tell you that you are broken, because you're not."

She found herself crying at his words, "Thank you, Rafi, for seeing all of those things in me when I can't. And I like you too. And I know I don't date lawyers, but I would make an exception for you." She smiled "Now, could you please help me get these soaking wet jeans off?"

She stood back up, Rafael nodded, and placed his hands back in her waistband, and pulled down. To his surprise, the jeans slid down over her perfect ass, but were stuck on her shapely thighs. Olivia sat back down, and Rafael pulled at them once more, making more progress. Once they finally reached her knees, they slid right off. He drank in the sight of Olivia before him, her toned body in just a black lace bra and panty set. She had such a wonderful figure that was well hidden under her work clothes.

"Rafael?"

He snapped out of his thoughts, and blushed, "yes?"

"One" she chuckled, "you're staring, and two, could you please turn the shower on?"

"Absolutely." He turned the shower on, and headed for the door.

"Is it okay if I go? I want to change my sweatpants, and I'll wash your clothes."

"Yes I should be okay."

Rafael put on a well fitting blue Ralph Lauren tshirt, and a pair of gray lounge pants. He went and put their soaking wet clothes in his washing machine, and sat back down to his scotch. He was trying to process what just took place in his bathroom. How could anyone hurt Olivia so badly that she had walls like this? That she couldn't see the light inside of herself? Who ever did these things, Rafael was determined to make sure he broke her walls down, and showed her the light that was inside of her. He was so deep in thought that he didn't hear her come walking into his living room.

Olivia sat down at the chair across from him, and the two sat in silence for some time. Finally, it was Olivia who spoke.

"What's going on in that head of yours Rafael? I don't think I've ever seen you this still or quiet."

"You wouldn't want to know. Trust me." He responded quietly, a look of hurt in his green eyes. Olivia got up to join him on the couch, and placed her hand on his knee.

"Rafael, you can tell me anything, you know that. You're very special to me, so whenever you want to talk, I'll listen, okay?"

"Thank you, Liv. Maybe tomorrow, we'll see how bad of a hangover you have. But for now, let's get you to bed."

He took her to the guest room, and brought her water and aspirin for the morning. "I'm right across the hall if you need anything, just come wake me." He turned to leave.

"Wait, Rafi," she asked, and he spun around

"Yes"

"Um, I get nightmares when I'm in new places, and um, you know what never mind." She quietly trailed off. Rafael sat next to her on the bed.

"Liv, what do you need, how can I help you? Anything, just ask."

She sheepishly looked into his green eyes, full of concern and compassion for his dear friend. "Will you stay here, with me?" A few stray tears fell down her cheeks.

He pulled her into a hug, rubbing her hair, "Of course I'll stay Liv." He kissed the top of her head, then leaned back and wiped away her tears.

Rafael pulled back the covers, letting Olivia get in the king sized bed. He proceeded to tuck her in, then went to the other side and got in. He slid up behind her and spooned her. He whispered in her ear, "Te amo, Olivia, y siempre te protegeré."

Translation: I love you, Olivia, and I will always protect you.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! Here is the second chapter! I'm not too sure if I'll continue this with another chapter, or another story, but I would love your feed back and opinions! Love and hugs! -Ellie**

Olivia woke twice throughout the night, each time just as violently as she had in the shower. And each time, Rafael was there to soothe her back to sleep. Rafael was exhausted, and very confused at the night before. He laid in his guest room, Olivia Benson at his side still fast asleep. He got out of bed, and headed for the shower.

"Ay díos mio, ¿que pasò anoche Rafael?" He often thought to himself in Spanish. He rubbed his hands on his tired face, trying to process what was going on. "I opened my door to a friend who needed me, what other option was there? She shouldn't have been alone last night, and I'm glad she picked me." He dispensed his shampoo in his hands, and lathered up his hair. He stood as it was rinsing, thoughts running wild though his brain, the sight of Olivia near naked, the terror in her eyes when she woke up, the sensation of her lips on his, it was too much to process, especially while she was still here. He soaped up his body, while planning how he was going to handle everything. "Obviously I just did what I had to do, I couldn't show her how frazzled I was that she was here. That would have upset her more. But I need some alone time, just to think, and I'm sure she does too. I should go to the office. It's a neutral location, I'll be totally alone since it's a weekend, and if I need to be distracted from my thoughts, there's always paperwork. I'll take Olivia to breakfast, and we'll part from there." Satisfied with his plan, he stepped out of the shower and dried himself off. He looked at himself in the mirror. He had a decent figure, toned, but not overly muscular. He was an attractive man, he was always dressed well. Deep down, he knew he would make a great husband someday, if he could just detach from the job.

He returned to his bedroom to get dressed. He decided to wear jeans, a rare occurrence. He picked out a dark wash, with a pink button up, and a maroon quarter zip pull over sweater. He went back to the guest room to check on Olivia, who was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"Hey Rafael, thank you for taking care of me last night."

"Of course, Liv. How are you feeling? Hopefully not too bad of a hangover?" He chuckled.

She laughed, "Actually not bad at all, much better than I was expecting. Hey, do you want to go get brunch? My treat, since you took such great care of me, also sorry about your nose."

"I'd love to. Actually I just got your clothes out of the dryer, you're more than welcome to the shower, I'm done in the bathroom, and I left a toothbrush for you, I always have extras."

"I don't understand how you're still single. You're like the perfect man." She chuckled, while headed to the bathroom.

"Yes, well we can discuss how fabulous I am over lunch, as soon as you get ready." He quipped back, and headed downstairs to make coffee.

Olivia undressed from his clothes, inhaling how much they smelled like him. He always smelled wonderful, it was a clean, woody scent, and it was distinctly Rafael. She got in the shower and sat on the bench, trying to collect her thoughts. "Why here, Olivia? Well, that's easy, you love the man and you were drunk off your ass. You kissed him and confused the shit out of him, then you punched him in the nose, and then, to top it all off, you asked him to sleep with you. You didn't even give the man a chance to think Olivia. You came into his house and forced yourself on him." She washed the last bit of conditioner from her hair and began washing her body. "He said he would want to be in a relationship with you, so why don't we just have a nice brunch, as friends. I need to process all of this, and I'm sure he does too. Just don't be awkward, Benson." She encouraged herself while stepping out of the shower.

She emerged from the bathroom and walked down to the living room.

"Damn Benson, what did you do, change your whole skin? I thought you fell asleep in there again, but my nose decided not to risk it." He joked with her and suddenly, everything was just as usual.

"Ha ha very funny Rafael, I am sorry about your nose though."

"Don't be. Ready to go?"

"I am."

And with that, they headed down to his favorite brunch spot, Ronnie's Place. They had a fantastic brunch selection, and he went at least once a weekend. The Maître D' recognized him,

"Rafael, so good to see you! And who is this lovely lady?"

"Armand, this is my good friend and colleague, Sergeant Olivia Benson of the NYPD, Special Victims Unit."

"Sergeant, so pleased to meet you, welcome," he smiled as he kissed her hand, "any friend of Rafael's is a friend of mine. Come, I have a table for you both."

Olivia looked at Rafael and smiled as they followed Armand to a small booth in the back of the restaurant.

"Rafael how often do you come here?" She asked, wondering just how well he and Armand knew each other.

"At least twice a week, once for dinner and at least once for brunch, but sometimes I come on Saturday and Sunday. Ronnie, the owner, and I go back to law school. He was my roommate. We wound up being best friends and we lived together for 4 years. He's like my brother. So naturally, I come here as often as I can, to support him. You'll probably get to meet him today."

"That's really awesome that you guys are still close. So what's good here? This is such an expansive brunch menu, I'm caught off guard." She chuckled.

"They have amazing raspberry bellinis, you must get one. And they make an amazing omelet, it's called "Maggie's Omelet", after his wife, it's got spinach, bacon, American cheese, and fresh onions. Plus, it comes with phenomenal twice baked potatoes, instead of your regular hash browns. But everything here is absolutely wonderful."

"That sounds absolutely delicious. I'll get that, is that what you're getting?"

"No, I get the lechon con morros y maduros. It's something that my mother taught Ronnie how to make when we were living together. It's my absolute favorite food, and Ronnie makes it almost as good as mamá."

"What is that? It sounds delicious."

"Oh my dear, I'll let you try some of mine, it's pork, with rice and beans, and sweet plantains, it's absolutely to die for. It's like a piece of Cuba."

"I'll take you up on that, for sure."

Armand came back and took their orders, bringing them both raspberry bellinis while they waited. Olivia took a sip, and the look on her face was of pure joy.

"You weren't kidding, this is fantastic!"

"I know. They have an amazing staff here."

"Listen, Rafael. About last night-" Olivia started

"Olivia, I think I need some time to process what happened. I know I didn't seem like that last night, but I was just concerned about you and I wasn't processing and I need to think. I like you, Olivia, very much." He held her hands from across the table. "I think you are a wonderful woman, you're beautiful, kind, brilliant, caring, passionate, you're absolutely perfect. But I have issues, Olivia, and I need to do some serious thinking."

"Rafi. I like you too. And I think you're handsome, and equally brilliant, and you have a passion that matches mine, and beneath your tough guy exterior, I know you have a big heart. And I'm sorry if I came on too strong last night, it was the vodka in me. But the vodka just gave me the courage to peer over my walls, to unlock the gate for you. But I do want you in my life, if you'll have me. But I understand you need to think, and I want this to be something we both want."

Rafael sat and listened as the stonewalled Sergeant let her walls down and invited him into her life. He realized he didn't need to think, he needed to follow his heart.

"Olivia"

"Yes, Rafael." She hesitantly responded.

"I don't need to think. I need to follow my heart, for once in my life. Olivia I've been married to the job since I started college. I need to follow my heart, and my heart says to say yes, to give this, us, a chance. So, Olivia Benson, care to make this friend brunch into a date"? He smiled at her, and squeezed her hands, realizing they had never let go.

"Rafael Barba, I would like that very much." She gave him a huge smile, and her brown eyes sparkled. "But isn't this a conflict of interest?"

"I don't care. I think we will need to disclose eventually. But not right now. And even still, I think we can still work together just fine. And if not, I'll request a lateral transfer. No big deal. For now, let's just focus on this, okay?"

"How did I get so lucky to find you, Rafi?"

"Because I'm fabulous and you can't get enough of me."

"This is very true."

Armand brought their food out. The sheer amount of food that was on the table shocked Olivia. The omelet was bigger than her head, and there was a huge bowl of potatoes, for them to split, and she couldn't believe how much food Rafael had gotten.

"Rafi this is so much food!"

"I know. Wait till you try your omelet. It's fantastic. Oh! And I promised you some of this." Looking around, he saw Armand had brought an extra plate. "Armand must have knew I was going to make you try this, he even brought you a plate." And he made her a plate, making sure to give her a little bit of everything.

"Rafi this is the best omelet I've ever had. It's so fresh!"

"Here, try this, you'll love it.

Olivia tried the Cuban food in front of her and her eyes lit up.

"I told you that you'd like it."

"It's delicious!"

The two continued to eat, with Olivia stealing bites of Rafael's food here and there, and they made jokes and were laughing the whole time. When they finished, and said good bye to Armand, they headed back towards Rafael's condo.

"I should head home." Olivia said, not wanting to over stay her welcome.

"Are you sure, we could watch a movie if you wanted, unless you're on call and need to be near your car... Please tell me you didn't drive here last night."

"I didn't. And I'm not."

"So what's back at your apartment? The same thing that will be waiting for me at mine if you go, emptiness. Olivia it was so nice having you over last night, please come back and stay a while longer." He pleaded with her.

"Okay fine, you've twisted my arm, but only because you looked so sad dammit!"

She laughed and bumped into him as they walked back.

He reached over and intertwined his fingers with hers, and she gave him the biggest smile he swears he's ever seen. They stopped in front of his door and he pulled her in and kissed her, slowly, softly, and passionately, all at the same time. The look in her eyes told him that everything would work out just fine.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm loving this story! Thanks everyone for all of your kind words and for taking the time to read this! Already planning the next chapter!**

Rafael woke to the sound of his phone ringing from across the room. Reluctantly, he groaned and dragged himself out of bed, earlier than planned on a Monday morning. "Why do I get the feeling today is going to be never ending?" He asked himself, while stretching his arms on the way over to his phone. Without looking, he answered his phone,

"Rafael Barba" he answered, his accent coming through his deep, sleepy voice.

"Well good morning to you too" Olivia responded.

"Mm, Liv. Hi." He yawned.

"Hi Rafi. We got a case."

"I figured that's why you were calling at 6:55 a.m."

"Yeah, sorry. I don't pick when serial rapists decide to come to New York... If I did, well, we'd both be out of a job." She laughed into the phone.

"Shit. Okay, I'll be down soon. You want coffee?"

"Yeah, that'd be great, see you soon Barba." Her voice straightened.

"Let me guess, Amaro just walked in?"

"Gosh it's almost like you're a detective now, counselor. I'll see you when you get here."

"Bye Liv."

She sent him a text, "sorry. Gotta keep it professional or IAB will have my ass. I would love coffee and you're a life saver."

"Por supuesto. How long have you been up Liv?"

"Too long. I got the call 4. #grumpy"

"Well maybe your favorite ADA can fix that for you? :)"

"Hmm. Only if he brings me a caffeine IV drip. And finds this scum and gets a confession, and puts him away for life?"

"Well if I do all that then what would you do all day?"

"Sit around and look pretty. For about 5 minutes. Then bury myself in paperwork :("

"You always look pretty Sergeant ;) paperwork party after we close?"

"Stop you're too sweet :) maybe. I might just sleep. Now, get ready and drive safely."

"See you soon :)"

Suddenly, waking up so early didn't seem so bad. He picked out his suit for the day. Slate gray with pinstripes, a blue button up, with a pink tie, and gray and pink paisley suspenders, and a pink pocket square. He headed down to Starbucks, and got two venti coffees, knowing neither of them liked any of that fancy nonsense. He also stopped to pick up two bacon egg and cheese sandwiches, both on bagels because why would you have it any other way?

He walked into the precinct and put his best "why am I here so early?" face on before getting out of the elevators. He strode through SVU, saying hello to everyone. Rollins commented on his having two coffees,

"Two giant coffees counselor? Rough night last night?"

"I need all the caffeine I can get to keep up with you all. Where's Benson?"

Amanda chuckled "In her office. But she's in a hell of a mood. Hence the blinds being shut."

"Ah. Well, I'll tread carefully. Thanks for the warning, Rollins."

He strode over to her office and knocked on her door.

"What now?" She called out.

He opened the door, walking in and shutting it behind him.

"Well hello to you too Sergeant." He chuckled, bringing her the sandwich and coffee. "Breakfast? I figured you haven't eaten yet."

"Hi Rafi." She reached across her desk and squeezed his hand. "Thank you for breakfast, you didn't have to."

"I wanted to." He smiled back. Rafael Barba was a very affectionate man, underneath his hardened exterior.

"Rafael," she sighed, "how is this going to work? Us, I mean."

"Olivia. We've been friends for quite some time now. And us being friends has never affected our work. We've just taken our friendship to the next level. That's all. We are professionals, and we're damn good at our jobs. We've both separated personal and professional for so long, that we won't have a problem doing this. But if we do, then that's something we'll need to talk about. We'll need to disclose eventually, but not right now. So let's just take it slow, okay?"

"Okay."

They ate their breakfast while Olivia briefed him on the situation. A serial rapist, who tied women up and burned their stomach 5 times, in the shape of a star. He was working his way up the east coast, having victims in Florida, Georgia, each of the Carolina's, Virginia, one in Washington, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, and now, Manhattan.

"So he's working his way up I-95?" He asked.

"It seems that way. But he's careful. His victims describe him as a White male, short, between 5'5" and 5'9, wears a mask and a condom, smokes cigarettes, hence the burns, and tells each of them that they are "pretty princesses."

"Any common denominator among the vics?"

"Tall, skinny, long hair, and that's all they have in common. That, and they were attacked no more than ten miles from the interstate. One of his Virginia victims doesn't fit his description though."

"Okay, tell me about her."

"She's short, 5'1" maybe, probably 100 pounds soaking wet, Medium length hair, not far below her shoulders. She goes to school at a tiny college less than 2 miles off 95. He picked her up on campus as she was walking back to her sorority house. No one saw a thing. If they did, they're not talking. But she got a look at his face, she ripped the mask off. She's with our sketch artist now."

They walked outside to look at the board.

"Why is she just giving a sketch now?"

"The college swept it under the rug. They told her she had no case, and that going to the police would be a waste of her time. She went to the town police anyway. They didn't take it seriously."

"Dear God. I can't stand people. Why the fuck. ITS NOT LIKE VIRGINIA WAS THE FIRST STATE HE HIT." Rafael was fuming. "I'm calling the DA in Virginia." And he left.

"Damn, I don't think I've ever seen Barba that hyped up." Amaro commented.

"I think he's pissed that it's gotten this far and he wants to get him, bring the glory back to Manhattan probably." Fin commented.

"Yeah you're probably right. Now, let's pull footage from all of the bridges and tunnels in and out of the City. Erin said she was pulled into a blue pickup truck, with Maine tags. She thinks it might have either been a Chevy Avalanche, or a Cadillac Escalade, said it had the plastic between the cab and the bed. Let's get this son of a bitch." Olivia commanded.

3 hours later, ADA Rafael Barba came back into the squad room, his hair tousled, like he had spent the past three hours running his hands through it.

"What've you got?" He asked.

"We got a sketch, and we got a picture of the car going through the EzPass for the GW." Amaro spoke up.

"Excellent. Do we have a name? A confirmed ID?"

"Just got it. It's a Carleton Rowe. Age 29. Lives in Augusta, Maine. And he's got a record, one B&amp;E from when he was in college, broke into a girl's dorm room, she was passed out drunk, and he raped her too, but that charge got dropped." Olivia said as she emerged from her office.

"Of course it did." Barba added and rolled his eyes. "So do we have any idea where Mr. Rowe is now?"

"We got every department looking for him, plus all up north from here on 95." Fin added.

"So it's just a matter of time. Sergeant Benson, sidebar?"

"Sure, step into my office." She responded, confused.

They went into her office, blinds still drawn from this morning. Rafael shut the door behind him.

"What's up Rafi?"

He walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and kissed her. She pulled back, and looked at him, shocked. But then she threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him back. His tongue swept her lower lip, begging for entrance. She gently parted her lips, and tangled her hand in his hair while he slowly explored her mouth. The two parted for oxygen, and Olivia met Rafael's gaze.

"Sorry. I couldn't stand not having kissed you all day." He said.

"Best sidebar ever." She laughed out loud. She smoothed the back of his hair, and gave him her brush so he could put his hair back perfectly.

"How about dinner later?" Rafael asked her.

"We're probably going to order in here, unless we catch the bastard first. You're welcome to join us." She added.

"Hmm, I might just do that. Thanks. I have to head back to the office, the DA wants an update." He kissed her quickly. "Adíos Olivia. Text me!"

She blushed. "Bye Rafi. See you later!"

What was it about him that made her go weak? He was perfect. He was handsome, well dressed, much kinder and sweeter than she expected. And then she realized. "He doesn't treat me like I'm broken, or about to break. He treats me like a regular person." And in that instant, she knew that they would be disclosing sooner rather than later.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter took a much different turn than I was originally expecting, but I still think it turned out okay. As always, I thrive on feedback from you guys! Also, I'm thinking of writing some M-Rated scenes, let me know what you all think! -Ellie**

Olivia got back to her apartment around 9 p.m. On a Friday night. By 9:30, there was a knock on her door, it was a courier. Figuring she had been subpoenaed, she opened the door. To her surprise, he was carrying a box wrapped in gray paisley paper with a purple bow.

"Ms. Benson?" The courier asked.

"Yes, who's this from?"

"The Assistant District Attorney, ma'am. Have a good night." He said as he handed her the box.

"Thank you. Have a good night."

She walked inside and opened the package. There was a black dress, with purple jewelry, and a note:

"Liv,

Be ready by 10:30.

See you soon.

Xoxo,

Rafi"

She picked up the dress, it was a body con dress. Didn't Rafael know she was too old to wear these? The jewelry was absolutely stunning with a statement necklace and a bracelet and matching earrings. She had a pair of strappy heels that matched perfectly, and a silver clutch that she would use. She stepped in the shower, wondering how she got so lucky. Once she finished showering, she did her make up, a smoky eye that made her brown eyes pop, with a dark red lipstick. She curled her hair so it framed her face. She put the dress and the jewelry on. To her surprise, the dress was a modest length, about two inches above her knee, and it accentuated her in all the right places. The jewelry looked stunning against her tan skin. Rafael sure had great taste, she thought to herself. She had a glass of wine, and by the time she finished, it was 10:30, and she was greeted by a knock at the door.

A man in a suit stood on the other side.

"Ms. Benson?"

"Yes, that's me."

"There's a car for you downstairs." He said as he gestured her to come outside.

She followed him down to the curb, where Rafael was holding the back door of the town car open for her. He placed his hands on her hips,

"You look stunning, Olivia. Absolutely breathtaking. Qué linda." And he pulled her in for a kiss.

"Well, whoever picked it out has excellent taste. You look wonderful as always, Rafael. Now, where are we going?" She smiled as she took his hands in her own in the back seat of the car.

"Paciencia, Olivia. Paciencia." He said, putting an accent in her name that made her melt.

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at an upscale night club, Leap 16. Rafael nearly jumped out of the car to rush to open Olivia's door and take her arm as she got out. They walked arm in arm to the bouncer.

"Eddie, ¿qué pasa mi hermano?" He asked the bouncer.

"Rafi! Te ves bíen amigo. Ha pasado demasiado tiempo. ¿Quién es esta señora encantadora?"

"Ah Eddie, esta es mi novia, Olivia. Olivia, this is mi amigo from el barrio, Eddie." He said, introducing the two.

"Eddie, I've heard so much about you! Thanks for always protecting Rafi, he's always had people out to get him" she chuckled.

"So nice to meet you Olivia. You two go on inside, I'm here if you need me."

"Gracías, Eddie."

The two went inside. The club had two massive bars, tables, and a large dance floor.

"Rafi..." Olivia was about to ask, but Rafael cut her off.

"I hope you don't mind that I introduced you as my girlfriend. I know we haven't talked about it yet, but you're more than a friend. And Eddie is my oldest friend." He said, babbling worriedly.

"I'm not mad silly. It's adorable. Now, let's get a drink and get to dancing, shall we?" She said, placing a kiss to his lips. "Mi novia..." She repeated him saying in her head, "I could definitely get used to that." She thought to herself.

Rafael led her to a table, where he had bottle service for them. Knowing vodka was off the table, and scotch was their after work drink, he started them with a bottle of champagne. The cork was popped and glasses poured, when he held his glass up,

"To us, to giving this a shot." He said.

"To the future" Olivia said with a smile, and they both downed the first glass.

They sat at the table and talked, and before they knew it, they had finished the bottle. Both feeling the buzz, Olivia grabbed Rafael's arm and pulled him onto the dance floor. They danced for a while, Olivia surprised at how good of a dancer Rafael was, and how well they danced together. Olivia turned around, Rafael thought to walk away. But she simply turned around, facing away from him, she reached behind and put his hands on her hips. Olivia began to grind against him, as he held her close. They danced to the beat, when Rafael stretched up a bit to kiss her neck. They were both 5'8", but Olivia was wearing heels tonight. Olivia ground her ass against him when she felt his lips make contact with her neck, he knew that was her weakness. He let his hands roam all over her body, all the while dancing to the music. When the song was over, and the next started, he spun her around to kiss her. Still tasting the champagne on her tongue, he led her to one of the bars. She ordered a Dirty Shirley with rum, and he got a martini, extra dry, extra olives. When the bartender brought them their drinks, she also brought them both a shot.

"From the Bouncer, Eddie." She said to them, and Rafael left his name, so it could be added to their tab. They took their drinks back to the table, Olivia sipping on hers on the way back. They decided to link arms and take their shots. As she took hers, Olivia froze, her eyes wide in terror. She took off, away from the table. Rafael ran after her,

"Olivia!" He called, chasing her outside of the club. He searched the street for her and asked Eddie where she went. He pointed to the park across the street. Without thinking, Rafael ran straight across the busy street, nearly getting hit by a taxi.

"Olivia! Olivia!" He continued to yell, running through the park, in a suit and bow tie. He used the flashlight on his phone to try and find her. He stopped at a crossroads, and heard gasps coming from the playground, where he noticed a shadowy figure on the swings.

"Olivia?" He yelled out, and ran toward the swings, where he found Olivia, gasping for breath, tears streaming down her face, eyes completely glassed over. He picked her up and pulled her against him, sitting back down on the swing. He held her and began to swing, rubbing her back. After about 5 minutes of her sobbing, once he felt her body begin to calm, he finally spoke.

"Olivia, what's wrong mi querida?"

"The- the shot." She barely breathed out.

Instantly it hit him. Tilting her face to look at him, he quietly spoke to her, "Oh Liv, it was vodka wasn't it baby?"

She buried her face in his chest and nodded her head yes.

"Shh, mi cielo, es vale, you're okay Liv." He cooed to her, while tears fell from his own eyes. His heart broke for the woman falling apart in his lap.

"I know this isn't what you planned Rafi I'm so sorry." She softly apologized, not meeting his eyes.

"Olivia, mirame." He tilted her face to look at him, cradling her cheek in his hands, "do not apologize, do not be sorry. Not one bit. This isn't your fault. Okay mamí?"

"Are you mad Rafi?" She asked, tears streaming down her face again.

"Mi amor, no I'm not mad, why would you think that?"

"You planned such a nice evening and I ruined it." She shifted her eyes again.

He laughed, "Olivia, don't be silly, you didn't ruin anything. You couldn't control your reaction. I should have asked what the shots were of. It's my fault. I'm just glad I found you." He said as he kissed her forehead. "Come on, now let's get you home. How does a nice bath sound?" He smiled at her.

"Okay." She said as she stood up, clinging to his hand. He took his hand from her and took off his suit jacket, putting it on her, leaving him in his lavender shirt with matching purple and gray paisley bow tie and suspenders. He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her close. He whispered to her,

"I'm never leaving you Olivia. I will protect you. Para siempre."

The two got in a cab, and went back to Rafael's apartment.

Once they got inside, Rafael led Olivia to his bedroom, where he got a pair of sweatpants and one of his Harvard tshirts. Olivia was very quiet, and Rafael's heart continued to break.

"Olivia?" He asked, getting no answer, "Liv?" Still nothing. He walked over to her, "Mi amor?" He asked putting his hand on her knee.

"Sorry what?" She snapped out of her thoughts.

"Do you want a glass of wine?"

"No, but do you have mouthwash?"

"Of course, come on, I'll start your bath."

He took her hand and led her down the hall to his bathroom, nothing like the first night he brought her in here. He reached in the closet and grabbed the mouthwash and a paper cup for her, and started to run the water in the bath. He sat on the toilet while it ran, and she came over and sat in his lap, snuggling against his smaller frame. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against him. This time, it was her who spoke first.

"Do you remember the first night I came over here?"

"You mean when you were super drunk, and you fell asleep in my shower, punched me in the nose, kissed me, and cuddled with me all night? How could I forget?" He chuckled.

"Haha I'm still sorry about your nose." She gave him a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. "Did I ever tell you why I came over?"

"No, and I never asked."

"I came because I found myself at the bottom of a bottle of Jack. And I panicked, thinking I was going to turn into my mother, and I got scared and you were the only person I could think of, I couldn't show up to Rollins' house reeking of alcohol, that would set her off, Nick had Zara, and quite honestly, you were the only one I wanted to see."

"Olivia, you will never turn into your mother. You aren't her. You have her DNA. But you. Are. Not. Your. Mother. You are amazing, and all you do is help people and it's okay for you to struggle to keep up after everything that's happened. And I'm so glad you came over. And that you picked me. If you hadn't come over, we wouldn't be here right now."

"I know. I know. Thank you. For everything Rafael."

He turned off the tub, and dropped in lavender epsom salts.

"I'll be in my room when you get out. Just take your time and relax. Call me if you need anything okay?" He gave her a quick kiss and walked out.

He changed into sweatpants, opting to remain shirtless, and climbed into bed, with a case file, of course. He was going through the details when he dozed off. Olivia emerged from the bathroom, to discover Rafael asleep, case file in hand, with the light on. She walked over to him and gently took the case file from him. She turned the light out and slid into the bed beside him. He slightly woke when he felt the weight shift, and he wrapped his arm around Olivia, pulling her closer. Thinking he was asleep, Olivia whispered in a barely audible tone. "Good night, Rafael. I love you." Rafael heard this and felt his heart soar. Even more quietly, he whispered. "Te amo, Olivia, para siempre." And she squeezed his hand, before rolling over in his arms to kiss him, sleepily. And they fell asleep like that, Olivia feeling safer than she had in a very long time.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry this update took so long! It's a little short, but I already have the next one in the works! Thanks for all the follows, favorites, and reviews, you guys are the best!**

Sunday's were their favorite day. They would always spend the whole day together. This Sunday was no different.

Olivia had slept over Rafael's the night before, they had been watching Netflix and they fell asleep on the couch. At some point in the night, she vaguely remembers, Rafael picked her up and carried her to bed.

She woke up because she felt like someone was watching her. And she was right. Rafael had woken up already, and was watching her sleep.

"Jesus, Barba. You're creepy."

"Buenos días mi amor." He chuckled as he dropped a kiss to her forehead. "You look so peaceful when you sleep. It's like there's no stress in the world whatsoever. I can't help but stare." He smiled.

"Alright, your cute answer gets you off the hook."

"Brunch?" He asked, knowing it was part of their usual Sunday plans.

"Well you know I can't turn down brunch. Let me shower and I'll be ready to go."

"I'll make you some coffee."

She laughed, "God you're the best boyfriend."

They went to Ronnie's place, just like they did every Sunday. This time, Olivia was jittery. She couldn't sit still, and kept babbling.

"Jeez Olivia, how much coffee did you have? You haven't sat still since we got here."

"What? Just one cup. But, I think we need to talk."

His heart dropped to his stomach. She was going to end it with him. Right here. In this restaurant. Over his favorite Cuban food. He couldn't handle this.

"Olivia, please, not in public. If you don't want to do this any more, please don't do it in public." He pleaded, his green eyes full of sadness.

"If I, what? Rafael what in God's name are you talking about? You think I'm about to break up with you?" She was bewildered at even the thought.

He nodded his head yes, and couldn't bring his eyes to meet her gaze. He looked like someone just ran over his puppy.

"Rafael Barba, you look at me right now." She demanded, and took his hand in hers. "I'm going to pretend like you didn't just say that you think I don't want this anymore. I wanted to talk to you about disclosing. I don't want to hide us anymore. You make me happier than I've ever been before, and I love you. I don't see us going anywhere any time soon. So I want to disclose to Tucker. But I want to make sure you're okay with that." She smiled across at him.

"I, I want to disclose too. I love you Olivia, more than anything. And I don't want to hide us, either. And if one of us has to move, I will." He smiled at her, clearly still recovering from the heart attack she gave him.

He leaned across the table and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Te amo, Olivia. Para siempre."

"I love you, Rafael, for always."

They finished their meal and left Ronnie's.

"So, what would you like to do? We can go to the park, we can go to the movies, we can go to a museum, anything you want to do." Rafael asked Olivia.

"Hmm. How about we go to Central Park? It's a really nice day, oh maybe we should go change so we can go running?"

"I'll say yes to the park, but no to he running" he laughed, "I'm pretty sure you don't want to see my lunch again."

They walked over to the park, taking advantage of the nice weather. When they arrived, a wave of guilt washed over Rafael. He knew he had to tell Olivia. She had a right to know the man she was dating. He owed that much to her. His hands began to sweat. "She's going to leave me. She's going to run." He thought to himself. But I have to be ready for that, I have to tell her anyway. He led them to a bench and sat her down.

"Olivia?" He quietly asked, avoiding her gaze.

"Yes?" She answered, confused.

"I have to, I have to tell you something." He stammered.

She took his hands in her own, "Rafael, you can tell me anything, you know that. I love you."

"I know this might change your perspective of me, but you need to know that I, I'm bisexual, Olivia." He searched her face for her reaction.

"Okay... Was that your big news or was that the "warm up"?" She asked, genuinely confused.

"What?"

"Oh Rafi, I don't care that you're bisexual, why would I? That just means that you like guys too. But it's really not a big deal. This just means that we can check out guys together. Rafi, I'm so proud of you for telling me, and I want you to know that I don't think any differently of you. You're still my Rafael, I still love you. Now, come here." She wrapped him up in her arms and kissed his forehead. "See, no need to get worked up. Also I knew you weren't totally straight, you dress too well." She chuckled. "It's the suspenders and pastels babe. But I love it, and you."

"You really are something else, Liv. You are mi cielo. Te amo. Para siempre. Thank you for loving me just the way I am, and for seeing past my walls."

"I love you too Rafael. And you saved me from myself. You've taught me that I am not defined by the things that happened to me, and you've helped me to grow and be a better person."

He sat back up and kissed her, running his hands through her hair.

They headed back on their walk through the park, hand in hand.

Monday morning rolled around, and Olivia's heart dropped through her stomach. Today was the day she and Rafael would be disclosing their relationship. Just as she was about to get in the shower, she heard a knock at her door. Confused, she went to open it, and found Rafael on the other side.

"Liv."

"Hi Rafi, come in, what's up? I'm just about to get in the shower. You can come sit with me."

"Liv, I'm scared. What if everything goes wrong?" Liv secretly loved it when Rafael got nervous, she thought it was cute. He was always so in control in the courtroom, so dominant and demanding. Rafael confided in her that he suffered from anxiety. The law was his solace. He knew what he could and could not do. He took comfort in it. Olivia soon became his go to for calming down. He would look at her in court, or just send her a text, or even thinking of her, could calm him down. She led him to the bathroom and sat him down, while she got in the shower.

"Rafael, listen to me, everything is going to be okay. I love you, nothing is going to change that. We are doing this because we have to, but nothing, nothing, will stop me from loving you. You hear me Rafael Barba?"

"Okay. I believe you. And I do love you Olivia."

She finished showering, and started to dry off. She dried her hair and got dressed. He had made her coffee, and they headed towards their respective meetings.

Olivia walked down to IAB and into Lieutenant Tucker's office.

"Sergeant Benson, never thought I would see you coming down here voluntarily." He asked, not one for pleasantries.

"Yes, well I do try to follow protocol. I need to disclose a relationship."

"Ah. With a fellow officer?"

"No, with a member of the DA's office."

"Never easy with you Benson. Is this person also disclosing? And do you come across them in your daily work?"

"Yes, as we speak, and yes I do."

"Well I'll call the DA later, who is it?"

Olivia blushed, "it's Assistant District Attorney Rafael Barba."

Tucker sighed. "Olivia, the SVU ADA? Really?"

"Look, I'm just here to follow protocol. If we're done here, I have to get back to my squad. "

"We're done. And Olivia? I'm happy for you. And I don't foresee any personnel changes."

"Thanks Tucker." And she headed back upstairs.

She hoped Rafael's meeting went just as well.

Rafael walked into DA Jack McCoy's office.

"Barba, what can I do for you? You're doing a great job at SVU I hope you're not requesting a transfer."

"I'm not Jack, I'm here to disclose a relationship."

"Oh? With who? Someone in this office?"

"No, it's actually with a cop."

"Shit Rafael really? Who is it?"

"Sergeant Benson, from SVU." He said, flatly.

"Rafael are you an idiot? I hope to God I don't have to move you."

"I hope so too, sir. She disclosed to IAB this morning. I don't foresee it affecting our work at all, Sergeant Benson and I are very good at separating our private and professional lives."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. I don't think a move will be necessary. But I will speak with IAB later. Is that all you needed Rafael?"

"It is, thank you Jack."

"I'm happy for you Rafael."

"Thank you sir." He said as he walked out.

Rafael called Olivia.

"So, how'd it go?"

"It went well, Tucker doesn't think we'll be moved."

"Good, neither does Jack. Are you going to tell the squad?"

"Maybe. Maybe you should just come here and we can kiss in front of them. Just kidding, gotta keep it professional. But I'll probably give them a heads up, they are like my family."

"Absolutely. Hey, you wanna get lunch later?"

"Sure, see you at 12? The diner?"

"Perfect, I'll see you then. I love you, Olivia, para siempre"

"I love you too, Rafael, for always."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry this update took so long! I've been busy with work, but I hope you all enjoy! Leave me some ideas for the future in the reviews!-Ellie**

The first wail pierced the silence of the night, and caused Rafael to nearly jump out of bed. His eyes flew open and came to land on Olivia's face. It was sweaty, contorted in pain, her cheeks were stained with tears. Rafael's heart broke every time she had a night mare, which was happening more and more frequently as they neared the anniversary of her attack. Rafael reached across, and placed both hands gently on her shoulders, rolling her on to her back. He laid one arm across her collarbone, using the other to stretch out her legs since she had been curled into a ball. He sat on her thighs, so she could not kick him, and held her wrists in one hand. He used the other to gently shake her shoulder as he called to her.

"Olivia, wake up. Olivia. Olivia." He called to her over and over. He alternated English and Spanish, and she finally opened her eyes. She stared at him with tears in her eyes. He immediately got off of her and sat next to her. He pulled her into his lap, and rubbed her hair. He was getting used to this, and was glad he could rouse her from her nightmares without her getting violent now.

"Shh, Liv, you're safe now. You're at my house, in my bed, with me. Lewis is dead mi amor, you're safe." He whispered as he gently rocked her and kissed her forehead. He glanced over to check his the clock on his nightstand, which read 3:47 a.m. He found his own tears softly falling into her hair, as he kissed the top of her head.

She looked up and met his sad, tear filled green eyes with her brown ones. "I'm sorry, Rafael." She choked out.

"No, Mi cielo, no don't be sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't get him the first time." This is something that they both knew had been eating at him ever since the attack, but this was the first time he said it out loud.

"Rafael, you did your job, there's nothing you could have done differently. You helped save me and you're here now and that's all I care about."

"That doesn't make it better! I was supposed to get him behind bars damn it. And the way he harassed you in court and there was not a damn thing I could do about it. I shouldn't have let it happen. He never should have seen a jury." Rafael finally snapped and let his pent up anger out.

"Barba look at me. I wouldn't let you plea him out." Rafael cut her off.

"I should have overriden you, I'm the fucking ADA."

"You and I both know that wasn't an option, don't be silly. Rafael, you have done more for my healing than anyone. You've helped me to feel better about myself than I did before Lewis. And do you know why?"

"No." He softly replied, genuinely curious about her answer.

"Because you've never treated me differently. You've never made exceptions, or treated me like I was about to break. You love me for me, not out of pity, but for who I am. You've shown me that there is good and light left inside of me, even on my darkest days. And I love you for it, and for being an amazing man, and don't you ever doubt me Rafael." She looked him straight in the eye and squeezed their joined hands at her last sentence.

He met her gaze and just said "Thank you, Olivia, for letting me into your life, and for making me a better man and I love you, and I'm so proud of you. Now, it's 4 a.m. And you have therapy tomorrow, so why don't we get some rest, okay?" He smiled down at her.

She chucked, "You're obsessed with that musical. I love you, Rafael. Thank you for always protecting me."

"Nothing wrong with that! And believe me, Liv, it's my pleasure to protect you. Para siempre. Te amo, mi cielo." He leaned over and kissed her softly, then laid down behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist and holding her close while they both returned to sleep.

9 A.m. Rolled around and Olivia opened her eyes. She could feel the steady rise and fall of Rafael's chest against her back, and she heard his gentle snores. She rotated to face him while his arm was draped around her waist. She always woke up before him and she loved watching him sleep. No longer was he "El tiburón," the sharp tongued ADA who dealt out sass like it was his job. He wasn't the man jacked up on caffeine, which, Olivia found out, was because he couldn't stand sleeping alone in his apartment, his anxiety kept him on high alert all the time, but especially when he was alone. He was so relaxed, and he looked 5 years younger. His mouth was always the slightest bit agape, but he never drooled. She loved watching his eyelids gently flutter as he dreamed. She also loved the stubble that formed on his face over night. He knew she liked him with scruff, so he wouldn't shave on the weekends, just for her. Finally, the need to stretch her legs overtook her, and she gently slid out from under his arm. She padded across the room to his bathroom, and stepped into his large shower.

As she was washing her hair, it dawned on her. She wanted Rafael to go to see Dr. Lindstrom with her today. She knew her nightmares were taking a toll on him, and she knew today would be tough. She wanted him there next to her. He was a huge part of her recovery journey, and it felt right to ask. She decided to ask him over brunch.

After showering and a cup of coffee, she slid back into his bed. Still asleep, Rafael sensed the weight change and reached out towards her. She captured his large hand in hers. His eyes slowly opened, and with a gentle tug on her hand, he pulled her in for a long, slow, sleepy kiss.

"Morning babe." He said, his voice still gravelly from sleep.

"Morning. I already made you coffee." She smiled.

"A woman after my heart." He chuckled back, "oh wait, you already have it."

She beamed at him. She would have never assumed that the sharp tongued man she met in the courtroom, would be so affectionate and romantic. And she really never would have guessed how much she enjoyed it.

Rafael got up to get a cup of coffee and sleepily made his way to the shower. He dressed in a pair of jeans, with a blue button up, and he left the top two buttons open. They headed down to Ronnie's Place for brunch, as they tried to do at least once every weekend. Olivia ordered Maggie's omelet, and Rafael got the lechón con morros y maduros, like he got every time. As they were eating, Olivia started to talk.

"You know how last night I told you that you were a huge part of my recovery?" She nervously asked him.

"Of course."

"I was, ah, just wondering... Would you come with me today? To Dr. Lindstrom's office?"

"Liv, of course I will come with you. I'm honored you asked." He leaned across the table and kissed her, as she felt a wave of relief wash over her.


End file.
